Oh, to Be French

Since her dear sweet Mama signed her up for her first ballet class, age 3, Miss Impeccable has longed to be French. Really, the media makes it seem ideal- they never get fat, their style is famous world-wide, they eat delicious pastries, smoke lots of cigarettes, and rule in the arts of love. After that first ballet class, I followed with 13 more years of dance. Then 5 years of language study where I learned such useful phrases as “Where is the butcher shop?” and “The dog is under the trashcan.” I read the diet book, where I learned to eat pate’ and chocolate(which would have been all well and good if I had learned that other key, moderation).

But, in my search to become more French, I did manage to find the book of all books, Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl. Miss Impeccable would like to say she then read the collected works of Sartre and Genet. (She did not). But her paperback copy of Entre Nous has traveled through two moves, a breakup, and an engagement unscathed. It really is that good.

The key pieces of advice I learned within? First, minimize. Own one good quality piece of everything, not dozens of tacky, trendy, soon-to-expire ratty things. Second, make an effort. If it’s worth eating, eat it on real plates at a table. If it’s worth wearing, wear it well and make sure it fits, is in a good fabric, and suits your body. Third, maintain. If you refuse to spend any time caring for your hair, face, and skin, don’t expect them to do you any favors. If you can’t commit an hour a week to a full body routine, then you have misprioritized your time and put yourself last.

Ooh la la. Miss Impeccable loves it (and gives copies to her impeccable girlfriends). I’m off to grab a croissant and a manicure ladies. The French kind.  

Ten Impeccable Wardrobe Pieces

Classic pieces are the key to One’s Impeccable Wardrobe. While top ten lists are incredibly overdone (and a bit trite in Miss I’s opinion), sometimes sacrifices must be made for the benefit of one’s fellow style goddesses. Here are ten of the key pieces Miss Impeccable can’t live without:

1. A pair of classic black heels- the pointy-toed variety, leather, and 3 inches high (no more, no less). They go straight from the office to a cocktail party without a need to lug a spare pair.
2. Pearl earrings- no matter whether they are real or fake, a pair of pearl earrings can be worn with absolutely anything. Diamonds are lovely for evenings and engagement rings, but a lady wears pearls more often. You should be able to find a pair of decent cultured pearls for $40 at any department store. The more you wear them, the better they’ll be. Pearls lose their lustre sitting in a jewelry box.
3. Ballet flats- The answer to the perpetual dilemma- how to stay comfortable without wearing your tennis shoes everywhere. They come in every color and material, they fit nicely into a tote for your commute in the city, and they look classy with skirts, pants, and jeans.
4. A white blouse- OK, actually you’ll need more than one. A good white blouse can be worn with anything, in the office, layered under suits and sweaters, tucked in or untucked. Pack three if you’re travelling and change it up with jewelry and coordinating pieces. A white blouse should always be crisp- if you can’t bear to iron, get them dry-cleaned and starched once a week.
5. The large leather tote- It’s a purse, it’s a briefcase, it’s a gym bag. A large tote is the answer to what to carry when you have too much to fit inside a cute clutch, but don’t want everything spilling out of a canvas logo beach bag. Spend a little bit more on this piece and you can carry it for years.
6. A cashmere scarf- When the weather outside is less than impeccable, sometimes its a challenge to get out from under the blankets. A cashmere scarf is a soft, warm, tiny blanket you can bring with you. Get one long enough to wrap around a few times and keep your color choices simple- now is not the time to go for patterns.
7. A great warm coat- Unless you are blessed with living in year-round sunshine, at some point you will have to cover up your clothes with a coat to keep warm. A good coat will never give you that tired feeling from wearing the same thing every day and can become your signature. In recent years, red wool has been quite popular. Miss Impeccable has a cream wool number that gets compliments no matter how often she drags it out. If you can only afford one, black wool or cashmere at knee-length is the way to go.
8. A classic watch- Watches have become less common now that everyone checks their cell phones and gizmos for the time. That’s no reason not to own one. A metal or leather band can be worn every day and gives the impression that you actually have places to be and expect to get there politely on time. Please ladies, do not wear your watch with evening wear, unless you inherited a lovely vintage bracelet design from your grandmother. A party is no time to need the time.
9. One perfect dress- Little black dresses have been discussed ad nauseum. They can be dressed up, dressed down and worn to funerals. I challenge you to go beyond black. Why not have a signature dress in navy, brown, beige, emerald green, red, or lavender? If you buy a simple, classic style in a good fabric it can be just as flexible as black and you will stand out in the crowd of boring black beauties. Wearing color can be a little tricky- avoid matching all your accessories in color to your dress and get a sensible length to avoid that lady-of-the-evening look (this is a great time to wear your pearls).
10. A pair of tailored pants- So many people avoid tailoring- too expensive, too NY, when clothes can be bought off the rack. These people have never had a pair of tailored pants. Buy some quality trousers and have your tailor adjust them just so, so the waist fits perfectly, the legs are the right length, and they narrow just a little between the thigh and the knee. Have one pair done, and I promise you’ll never want to go without. Start with black so you can wear them often- branch out to more.

With these pieces, a lady can’t help but start on her way to impeccability. And you can stop throwing your money away on expensive trendy items. Grow your wardrobe with every purchase and only have to throw it away when it wears out. What a novel idea.

How to Be Impeccable When You’re In a Hurry

So, you wake up half an hour late, you have a crosstown bus to catch and your boss is not the most understanding type. You run out the door rumpled, unshowered, makeup-free, hair in a bun, and mismatched socks with your frumpy shoes. This need not be. Miss Impeccable is here to save your day from Impeccability Ruin.

First, the easiest way to save yourself from the mad morning dash is to lay out your clothes the night before. If your outfit is pre-picked and pre-ironed you will save yourself from the getting-ready-in-the-dark black pants and blue shoes.

If you haven’t pre-ironed, throw your clothes, hangers and all, on the shower rod. A few minutes in the bathroom steam will kill the worst of those wrinkles and give them a fresher smell than the back of the closet left them with.

Even if there’s no time for a shower, apply deodorant, a little baby powder to any sweaty bits, and a fresh body splash- Miss I is a huge fan of pink grapefruit as both a freshener and a waker-upper. Your officemates will thank you (and assume you are freshly showered). The biggest mistake most ladies make is to take what Mr. Impeccable calls a “lady-of-the-evening bath” (politely). Large amounts of perfume will only give you and everyone else a headache. The goal here is to feel fresh, not smelly.

Depending on the state of your hair, you may have options. If you have dry, wavy hair, a little shine serum and a hand-toss can give you that popular tousled look. Greasier ladies can save themselves from shiny roots with a tiny bit of baby powder rubbed on your palms and then run through the roots. Be very careful- too much will give you a powdered wig look that went out hundreds of years ago.

Any makeup at all can add polish to your last minute look. Before you dash out of the house, apply a little blusher, a natural-looking lipgloss, and some mascara.

There. No one needs to know how late you were out (or in) last night with your person-friend. You have gone from impossible to impeccable in fifteen minutes or less.  

Impeccable, under it all

Miss Impeccable’s mother, a consummate Southern belle, raised Miss I. to think about undergarments. More specifically, once I had reached a reasonable age, when she took me back-to-school and event outfit shopping, Mom always included a stop in the lingerie department on our outing. Her philosophy- “Nobody will see it, but a girl always feels prettier if she is wearing pretty underwear.”  Now that I’m at an age when the future Mr. Impeccable may also enjoy the view, I have gained an even greater appreciation for this theory.

But where to get these pretty things? Victoria’s Secret is all well and good, but there are finer options. Also, if you are impeccably busty, they may not have your size. Why not try something a little more shocking from the infamous Frederick’s of Hollywood? Or the Agent Provocateur store where the lingerie is pretty in a pin-up girl way? If you, like Miss I herself, prefer to spend your money on the outer garment, quality items can increasingly be found in your local department store.

So, its time to eliminate the cotton holey undergarments with the clever sayings. Strive to buy a good basic wardrobe for your underwear drawer- a few bras in the appropriate flesh tone for your flesh, some sturdy and some sexy black pieces for under darker clothes, a good strapless number, a tummy tucker or two (that you can feel in pretty in), and comfortable, but sexy underwear in flesh and black. If you have the extra money to spend, grab a few sets- matching bras and panties in a variety of colors. Pair them up in your drawer in lingerie bags, so you can keep your sets together- who hasn’t wound up with brown underwear and a pink bra due to an off laundry day?

Finally, if you’re going to spend the money, hand-wash at least your bras. It won’t have to be an ordeal. When you remove it in the evening, run the bra under the tap with a little gentle detergent and hang it in the shower. You can extend the life of good lingerie for months by saving its elastic from dryer heat and lacey bits from the inside of a vigorous washing machine.

 Now, don’t you feel pretty? Underneath it all?