Impeccable Maintenance

I admit, I could spend more time on maintenance. Those women who shave daily, get weekly mani/pedis and waxes, tan (or spray), tweeze, snip, straighten, and match their shoes to their handbags, must have nothing else going on. By the time I get home, write to my lovelies, feed myself and the future Mr. Impeccable and watch the compulsory tivo’d shows, it’s time to crawl into my impeccable bed and get some frickin’ rest.

Tonight, though, I broke into the backstock and treated myself to a touch-up. If anyone asks, of course I’m a natural redhead. But after three months, my roots were really starting to give me away as the blonde I am. I am totally hooked on L’Oreal Coleur Experte in Ginger Twist. I need two boxes to cover the gigantic mass of hair on my head, but the results are worth it.

Due to the winter blahs, I skipped the highlighting step for tonight. I just didn’t have it in me. But when I go back to the office tomorrow my roots will have disappeared finally. And when the sun comes back out, I can add in the highlights and no one need be the wiser.

Oh, to Be French

Since her dear sweet Mama signed her up for her first ballet class, age 3, Miss Impeccable has longed to be French. Really, the media makes it seem ideal- they never get fat, their style is famous world-wide, they eat delicious pastries, smoke lots of cigarettes, and rule in the arts of love. After that first ballet class, I followed with 13 more years of dance. Then 5 years of language study where I learned such useful phrases as “Where is the butcher shop?” and “The dog is under the trashcan.” I read the diet book, where I learned to eat pate’ and chocolate(which would have been all well and good if I had learned that other key, moderation).

But, in my search to become more French, I did manage to find the book of all books, Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl. Miss Impeccable would like to say she then read the collected works of Sartre and Genet. (She did not). But her paperback copy of Entre Nous has traveled through two moves, a breakup, and an engagement unscathed. It really is that good.

The key pieces of advice I learned within? First, minimize. Own one good quality piece of everything, not dozens of tacky, trendy, soon-to-expire ratty things. Second, make an effort. If it’s worth eating, eat it on real plates at a table. If it’s worth wearing, wear it well and make sure it fits, is in a good fabric, and suits your body. Third, maintain. If you refuse to spend any time caring for your hair, face, and skin, don’t expect them to do you any favors. If you can’t commit an hour a week to a full body routine, then you have misprioritized your time and put yourself last.

Ooh la la. Miss Impeccable loves it (and gives copies to her impeccable girlfriends). I’m off to grab a croissant and a manicure ladies. The French kind.  

Friday: Classic Beauty

 

Maria Felix. Which reminds Miss I., I need my eyebrows done.

How to Be Impeccable When You’re In a Hurry

So, you wake up half an hour late, you have a crosstown bus to catch and your boss is not the most understanding type. You run out the door rumpled, unshowered, makeup-free, hair in a bun, and mismatched socks with your frumpy shoes. This need not be. Miss Impeccable is here to save your day from Impeccability Ruin.

First, the easiest way to save yourself from the mad morning dash is to lay out your clothes the night before. If your outfit is pre-picked and pre-ironed you will save yourself from the getting-ready-in-the-dark black pants and blue shoes.

If you haven’t pre-ironed, throw your clothes, hangers and all, on the shower rod. A few minutes in the bathroom steam will kill the worst of those wrinkles and give them a fresher smell than the back of the closet left them with.

Even if there’s no time for a shower, apply deodorant, a little baby powder to any sweaty bits, and a fresh body splash- Miss I is a huge fan of pink grapefruit as both a freshener and a waker-upper. Your officemates will thank you (and assume you are freshly showered). The biggest mistake most ladies make is to take what Mr. Impeccable calls a “lady-of-the-evening bath” (politely). Large amounts of perfume will only give you and everyone else a headache. The goal here is to feel fresh, not smelly.

Depending on the state of your hair, you may have options. If you have dry, wavy hair, a little shine serum and a hand-toss can give you that popular tousled look. Greasier ladies can save themselves from shiny roots with a tiny bit of baby powder rubbed on your palms and then run through the roots. Be very careful- too much will give you a powdered wig look that went out hundreds of years ago.

Any makeup at all can add polish to your last minute look. Before you dash out of the house, apply a little blusher, a natural-looking lipgloss, and some mascara.

There. No one needs to know how late you were out (or in) last night with your person-friend. You have gone from impossible to impeccable in fifteen minutes or less.  

Impeccable Shine: Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine

 

Miss Impeccable has tried everything to fight the giant bundle of frizz attached to her over-dry, over-processed, over-producted hair. In fact, I had pretty much given up on having shiny hair unless I flat-ironed it within an inch of its life or waited a week for it to turn into greasy dreadlocks. Until… I found the fruit. The Fructis. The miraculous cure to my dull hair blues.

Garnier Fructis’ Sleek & Shine Anti-Frizz Serum is my favorite so far of the anti-frizz products on the market. It doesn’t feel sticky on your hands or hair, it doesn’t make my hair flat, it actually adds real shine to the dull tangle that is my hair. Not only that, but it smells like grapefruit-y heaven. I have gotten compliments on the way my hair smells in bars, at work, on the bus, and from the future Mr. Impeccable. Even my hairdresser complimented me- and he knows how I struggle.

If I had a case of this stuff, I would run through the streets handing it to dry-haired passers-by and shouting, “I’ve saved you!!!!” Actually, I might just keep it all to myself. I love this stuff.

This product hereby receives FIVE out of four stars.

Impeccable, under it all

Miss Impeccable’s mother, a consummate Southern belle, raised Miss I. to think about undergarments. More specifically, once I had reached a reasonable age, when she took me back-to-school and event outfit shopping, Mom always included a stop in the lingerie department on our outing. Her philosophy- “Nobody will see it, but a girl always feels prettier if she is wearing pretty underwear.”  Now that I’m at an age when the future Mr. Impeccable may also enjoy the view, I have gained an even greater appreciation for this theory.

But where to get these pretty things? Victoria’s Secret is all well and good, but there are finer options. Also, if you are impeccably busty, they may not have your size. Why not try something a little more shocking from the infamous Frederick’s of Hollywood? Or the Agent Provocateur store where the lingerie is pretty in a pin-up girl way? If you, like Miss I herself, prefer to spend your money on the outer garment, quality items can increasingly be found in your local department store.

So, its time to eliminate the cotton holey undergarments with the clever sayings. Strive to buy a good basic wardrobe for your underwear drawer- a few bras in the appropriate flesh tone for your flesh, some sturdy and some sexy black pieces for under darker clothes, a good strapless number, a tummy tucker or two (that you can feel in pretty in), and comfortable, but sexy underwear in flesh and black. If you have the extra money to spend, grab a few sets- matching bras and panties in a variety of colors. Pair them up in your drawer in lingerie bags, so you can keep your sets together- who hasn’t wound up with brown underwear and a pink bra due to an off laundry day?

Finally, if you’re going to spend the money, hand-wash at least your bras. It won’t have to be an ordeal. When you remove it in the evening, run the bra under the tap with a little gentle detergent and hang it in the shower. You can extend the life of good lingerie for months by saving its elastic from dryer heat and lacey bits from the inside of a vigorous washing machine.

 Now, don’t you feel pretty? Underneath it all?