Miss Impeccable

I try to always have a backstash of thank you notes around the house. My former roommate used to giggle at me for sending thank you notes for every little blessing. But, even if snail mail is outdated in these e-times, a handwritten thank you note can go a long way. After a job interview, a thank you note can guarantee you are a stand out in a big pool. After a good dinner, a thank you can get you invited back. Thank yous for good customer service have gotten me VIP cards, coupons, and invitations to private events. I am here to admit it, I write thank yous for everything. Not because I’m old fashioned, but because everyone likes to be thanked.

Write a thank you to someone today: a former teacher, a mentor, a friend, anyone who’s ever done anything for you. It will put a smile on the face of whoever receives it. Plus, it will remind you how much you have to be grateful for. Any excuse to buy cute stationery!

I admit, I could spend more time on maintenance. Those women who shave daily, get weekly mani/pedis and waxes, tan (or spray), tweeze, snip, straighten, and match their shoes to their handbags, must have nothing else going on. By the time I get home, write to my lovelies, feed myself and the future Mr. Impeccable and watch the compulsory tivo’d shows, it’s time to crawl into my impeccable bed and get some frickin’ rest.

Tonight, though, I broke into the backstock and treated myself to a touch-up. If anyone asks, of course I’m a natural redhead. But after three months, my roots were really starting to give me away as the blonde I am. I am totally hooked on L’Oreal Coleur Experte in Ginger Twist. I need two boxes to cover the gigantic mass of hair on my head, but the results are worth it.

Due to the winter blahs, I skipped the highlighting step for tonight. I just didn’t have it in me. But when I go back to the office tomorrow my roots will have disappeared finally. And when the sun comes back out, I can add in the highlights and no one need be the wiser.

Last winter, Miss Impeccable treated herself to two cashmere sweaters, courtesy of Isaac Mizrahi, (courtesy of Target). The price was irresistible and I got lots of wear out of them both until…. let’s just say I tried removing some pills of the chest of one with, let’s say, a disposable razor. Oops. The hole, conveniently located over the left nipple, left a little to be desired. Goodbye cashmere.

Not so fast. Noticing that the sweater’s color matched my new bedspread nicely, I grabbed an old throw pillow and tucked it inside the sweater. A perfect fit. (Well, minus the turtleneck and sleeves). I snatched some scissors, snipped off the unwanted bits of the sweater with pinking shears leaving about three inches on all sides of the throw pillow, and grabbed some glue. Yep. Fabric glue can be impeccable in a pinch. I glued the edges together after tucking them in around the pillow, and voila!

Now I am the owner of my very own cashmere throw pillow, which is lovely to snuggle up to when the weather outside is frightful. And when that wears out? I suppose I’ll have to make due with cashmere sachets and pincushions. After all, cashmere never goes bad.

Since her dear sweet Mama signed her up for her first ballet class, age 3, Miss Impeccable has longed to be French. Really, the media makes it seem ideal- they never get fat, their style is famous world-wide, they eat delicious pastries, smoke lots of cigarettes, and rule in the arts of love. After that first ballet class, I followed with 13 more years of dance. Then 5 years of language study where I learned such useful phrases as “Where is the butcher shop?” and “The dog is under the trashcan.” I read the diet book, where I learned to eat pate’ and chocolate(which would have been all well and good if I had learned that other key, moderation).

But, in my search to become more French, I did manage to find the book of all books, Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl. Miss Impeccable would like to say she then read the collected works of Sartre and Genet. (She did not). But her paperback copy of Entre Nous has traveled through two moves, a breakup, and an engagement unscathed. It really is that good.

The key pieces of advice I learned within? First, minimize. Own one good quality piece of everything, not dozens of tacky, trendy, soon-to-expire ratty things. Second, make an effort. If it’s worth eating, eat it on real plates at a table. If it’s worth wearing, wear it well and make sure it fits, is in a good fabric, and suits your body. Third, maintain. If you refuse to spend any time caring for your hair, face, and skin, don’t expect them to do you any favors. If you can’t commit an hour a week to a full body routine, then you have misprioritized your time and put yourself last.

Ooh la la. Miss Impeccable loves it (and gives copies to her impeccable girlfriends). I’m off to grab a croissant and a manicure ladies. The French kind.  

OK. OK. OK. My dear sweet readers- Miss Impeccable owes you an apology.

I admit it. I have written dull, dull, dull posts. I have not included interesting links, clever quips, or any other things that would make this site, well… impeccable.

But all that is going to change. These are modern times and Miss I. is a modern woman who can change with the times. I may still bore you, but I’ll try harder not to. How’s that?

Is all forgiven? Can we all get along?

Maria Felix. Which reminds Miss I., I need my eyebrows done.

Sometimes its hard enough to get through the workday, much less face dishes and housework afterward. It’s enough to make Miss I. want to run away to a glamorous hotel and abandon it all permanently.

That’s when I know it’s time for an R&R night. First, light every delicious smelling candle you have in the house- I like warm scents like vanilla, pumpkin, cinnamon, and cider, but to each her own. Turn off the t.v. and the lights, and put on some soothing tunes. Now is not the time for techno and loud house music- try some blues, jazz, or that perpetual snooze-fest, easy listening. Anything that makes you feel slowed down. Dial for take-out and paper plates. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Snuggle up under a blanket (alone or with your own Mr. or Ms. Impeccable) and be quiet for thirty minutes. If you can spare the time, stay longer.

Spritz your sheets with some lavender linen spray and crawl underneath. Better now? I thought so.

Classic pieces are the key to One’s Impeccable Wardrobe. While top ten lists are incredibly overdone (and a bit trite in Miss I’s opinion), sometimes sacrifices must be made for the benefit of one’s fellow style goddesses. Here are ten of the key pieces Miss Impeccable can’t live without:

1. A pair of classic black heels- the pointy-toed variety, leather, and 3 inches high (no more, no less). They go straight from the office to a cocktail party without a need to lug a spare pair.
2. Pearl earrings- no matter whether they are real or fake, a pair of pearl earrings can be worn with absolutely anything. Diamonds are lovely for evenings and engagement rings, but a lady wears pearls more often. You should be able to find a pair of decent cultured pearls for $40 at any department store. The more you wear them, the better they’ll be. Pearls lose their lustre sitting in a jewelry box.
3. Ballet flats- The answer to the perpetual dilemma- how to stay comfortable without wearing your tennis shoes everywhere. They come in every color and material, they fit nicely into a tote for your commute in the city, and they look classy with skirts, pants, and jeans.
4. A white blouse- OK, actually you’ll need more than one. A good white blouse can be worn with anything, in the office, layered under suits and sweaters, tucked in or untucked. Pack three if you’re travelling and change it up with jewelry and coordinating pieces. A white blouse should always be crisp- if you can’t bear to iron, get them dry-cleaned and starched once a week.
5. The large leather tote- It’s a purse, it’s a briefcase, it’s a gym bag. A large tote is the answer to what to carry when you have too much to fit inside a cute clutch, but don’t want everything spilling out of a canvas logo beach bag. Spend a little bit more on this piece and you can carry it for years.
6. A cashmere scarf- When the weather outside is less than impeccable, sometimes its a challenge to get out from under the blankets. A cashmere scarf is a soft, warm, tiny blanket you can bring with you. Get one long enough to wrap around a few times and keep your color choices simple- now is not the time to go for patterns.
7. A great warm coat- Unless you are blessed with living in year-round sunshine, at some point you will have to cover up your clothes with a coat to keep warm. A good coat will never give you that tired feeling from wearing the same thing every day and can become your signature. In recent years, red wool has been quite popular. Miss Impeccable has a cream wool number that gets compliments no matter how often she drags it out. If you can only afford one, black wool or cashmere at knee-length is the way to go.
8. A classic watch- Watches have become less common now that everyone checks their cell phones and gizmos for the time. That’s no reason not to own one. A metal or leather band can be worn every day and gives the impression that you actually have places to be and expect to get there politely on time. Please ladies, do not wear your watch with evening wear, unless you inherited a lovely vintage bracelet design from your grandmother. A party is no time to need the time.
9. One perfect dress- Little black dresses have been discussed ad nauseum. They can be dressed up, dressed down and worn to funerals. I challenge you to go beyond black. Why not have a signature dress in navy, brown, beige, emerald green, red, or lavender? If you buy a simple, classic style in a good fabric it can be just as flexible as black and you will stand out in the crowd of boring black beauties. Wearing color can be a little tricky- avoid matching all your accessories in color to your dress and get a sensible length to avoid that lady-of-the-evening look (this is a great time to wear your pearls).
10. A pair of tailored pants- So many people avoid tailoring- too expensive, too NY, when clothes can be bought off the rack. These people have never had a pair of tailored pants. Buy some quality trousers and have your tailor adjust them just so, so the waist fits perfectly, the legs are the right length, and they narrow just a little between the thigh and the knee. Have one pair done, and I promise you’ll never want to go without. Start with black so you can wear them often- branch out to more.

With these pieces, a lady can’t help but start on her way to impeccability. And you can stop throwing your money away on expensive trendy items. Grow your wardrobe with every purchase and only have to throw it away when it wears out. What a novel idea.

And here it is, the inaugural Ladybelle Profile of the lovely Miss Reese Witherspoon.

Southern born and raised, smart as a whip, funny as hell, an Academy Award who contemplated med school, Miss Reese stated in an early interview that the first thing she bought herself with her film proceeds was a set of monogrammed towels. Now that, my friends, is a ladybelle. Her recent divorce has left her no less graceful, and she has continued to impress with her style and grace, avoiding insult to her ex in the press and continuing to raise her children in as normal a life as possible in Hollywood.

For more on Miss Reese check out this interview, where the New York Times describes her best: “She projects a fundamental niceness that makes it impossible to begrudge her all the goodies that flutter into her lap like candy sequins down from Barbie doll heaven.”

How does one develop Impeccable manners if not raised at the knee of a Southern belle like your own Miss Impeccable? While challenging, all of us can strive to become a ladybelle, even in these modern etiquette-challenged times. If you are not a lady now, don’t despair. Books, my dear, are your little pocket-sized Southern mamas.

My suggestions:

The classics are classic for a reason-

• Etiquette, by Emily Post (Miss I. has a first edition, but you can do just fine with this newer version)
• Amy Vanderbilt’s Everyday Etiquette (mine is (c) 1954- this one is a good new edition)

And some more modern ideas:

• The Art and Power of Being a Lady, by Noelle Cleary and Dini Von Mueffling
• Better than Beauty: A Guide to Charm, by Helen Valentine and Alice Thompson
• How to Be a Lady, by Candace Simpson-Giles

In the coming weeks, Miss I. will be providing reviews and useful tips from all of the above and more. In the future, I hope you will all join me in my Ladybelle Book Club, where we will choose books on modern lady-hood and get our brains wrapped around the challenges of seeking style, grace, and class in these busy times.

If you need manners and you need them now, go here where you can read Miss Emily’s original book in its full text online. While you may not need calling cards or guides to how to treat “the help” (and if you do… bless your heart), the basics haven’t changed- thank you cards are non-negotiable. Period.